Ughfuck

I touched a stripper’s breast nipples for the first time in my life tonight.

thebluecollarhustle:

Angels have won.

Rangers are about to win.

I’m about to crush a beer in celebration.

Angels just clinched the AL West Division.

Fuck yes.

Angels have won.

Rangers are about to win.

I’m about to crush a beer in celebration.

I’m going to Vegas tomorrow for the first time as an adult.

And at some point in the trip I’ll be going to my first strip club.

Any tips (no pun intended)?

Getting out of the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater parking lot was a better joke than any of Sarah Silverman’s set.